[Unknown] to Sarah Josepha Hale

[Unknown] to Sarah Josepha Hale

1866-10-03

October 3, 1866

Hale, Sarah Josepha Buell, 1788-1879

Manuscripts

eng

text

Sarah Josepha Hale Collection, The Athenaeum of Philadelphia

46-M-199

http://www.philaathenaeum.org/rights.html

Andover Mass. Oct. 3d 66

My very precious friend -

You cannot tell
how much I wish to see you - and
how sweet your friendship is & has ever
been to me. You often speak of
a wish to see me in Phil. - I now
hope to be there for a few days in this
month and shall try to be at the
meeting of our society; but I will write
to you more upon that subject by and by.
I have kept that letter in order
to influence a very rich lady - hoping
to get her to give a large amount she is
just left with a million & a half &
is childless - I hope and shall greatly
try to get in many ways donations
for our society. I have not yet done very
much, all the spring my health was very
poor and I did not feel able for the task.

And during the summer I have had
a house full of company which have
taken my time and strength. - If I have
time before going to Phila. I will try
and collect some for another box. -
Darling friend - I wish I could sit
by your side and press a warm kiss upon
your dear lips as of old - Oh, I have
so much to say to you - words I wish I
could breathe into your dear sympathizing
loving heart - How sweet your friendship
has been to me how precious your words
of sympathy and love, you can never
know. - but you do know that I love
you most tenderly. - Now dearest where
can I begin - how can I write to you
all I would whisper in to you ear. -
"I would I were a bird" - but alas! now
I must use the pen.
You my precious friend know
how tenderly & lovingly - how faithfully
& devotedly I watched over [my?] dear
departed husband. - I can say truly

that from the time we were
married until his death - both in
health & sickness - I always most truly
affectionately & devotedly watch over my
departed one. - that in all my words and
act & life I was a most devoted wife -
& he you know always felt so. - and one
of the last things he said to me - was
"You are my wife and have always treated
me as a wife should" - words that are
written on my soul and are very dear
to me. - My husband - the earthly
part - lays in the cemetery here in Andover
and it is sweet to feel that his soul
is at rest in Jesus. - and also with
trembling hope to feel, that in the hands
of God I have been the means and at least
a slight degree of bringing him in to the fold -.
Oh! even amidst my sorrow I have
had every thing to be thankful for. - my
cup has all the way been full of blessings -
unworthy indeed I am of so much love
& so many mercies - My children are

an infinite blessing and my
little adopted one is one of the sweetest
children I have ever known - she
is almost perfect. When with her
sweet little voice she says - "Mama dear
is there any thing I can do for you" - or
"If you wish any thing you speak [to?] me
you know I love to do any thing I can
for you" It some time brings the
tears of gratitude into my eye - and I
feel thankful she has learned so
to love me. - You know that my
husband has been dead but about two
months [?] - but so far as his mind -
his sympathy - and the power to
advise & cooperate or aid in family
matters you know he has been dead to his
wife & children as his mind had become
so inf[?]d - yet we loved him
all the same and watched him
even more tenderly - never until after
he was taken to the Asylum with
the exception of a few nights was he
watched over by any one but Cousin
Carry or myself - and then we [were?]

where we could be spoken to any moment
You know dear precious friend -
what a warm loving heart I have -
and yet that there are but few who
have my confidence - You are
one of "the few" while I have many
many friends there are few who
realy [really] know my heart. -
When I came to Andover
I was a stranger there was not
a single person here I had ever
met. - My health was very poor -
I fell that I was so broken down
from anxiety care & constant watching
that I should never be what I had
been - I felt that my days of usefulness
were perhaps over, and that if I could
take care of my children that I
cared not to know any one - I
did not even send to my Boston
friend (with two exceptions) that I was here

I feel sad - depressed - and lonely -
I could not write - my time was
spent in family cares & reading -
Oh! I longed to lean my aching
head & heart on so sympathizing
loving bosom - & my prayer
would be to Jesus that I might
lean all - all on Him - and
I felt thankful I had such a
loving Saviour to rest on - one
who had [?] with the sorrowing -
& knew how to bind up the broken
heart. -
When I first came here I roomed
in my own house but boarded oposite [opposite]
as I could not have cooking done in
my house, while I was making
alterations. - she (Mrs Mather) had quite a family
of boarders. - among them three Clergymen
one a Mr. Allen (the brother of the Rev
Mr. Allen of Philadelphia who assists
in the church on Rittenhouse Sq.-) one
a Mr. Blake - and the third a

Mr. Ensworth. - It was a very
pleasant family yet I took but little
interest in any thing my health was
so poor that I set up but very little
save at my meals and then a
great deal of the time in pain -
altho' my friend did not know how
miserable I was. - For I have always
tried to conceal my feeling both of
pain & sadness from most around
me - ..- I therefore seemed very cheerful
at the table - altho' at that time I
feared I should live but a few
months - Yet there was one there
who's keen sympathy - and warm
heart - (having heard of the great care -
& sorrow which had been [wighing?] [weighing] me
down for so many long months) - felt
deeply for me and his whole heart was
moved towards me - and the little
fatherless ones that were centered in
me. - he knew I was a stranger
and all - all alone -

we sat side by side at table
about six weeks - and became
better acquainted with each other
than under other circumstances
we should in many months. -
We found our sympathies were
the same, our opinions & feelings
on most subjects were alike -
and in truth we never tired of
conversing together. - I
supposing (having been told so) that
he was engaged spoke as frankly,
truly & unreservedly as to a married
man. - But I will now tell you
more of Mr. Ensworth - whose friendship
was such a light to my dark path
when I first came here - He
is a native of the state of N.Y. -
has been through collage [college] & studied
law in Rochester - he practiced law
six years - and then after having
a very fine offer to go in as partner
of [Senator?} Farrer & one of the Ed.